You start out with 20 points, if the questions apply to you then add or subtract accordingly. BE HONEST! Lying would automatically guarantee impaling or decapitation by most demons and serial killers!! 

1. If you've had sex with more than 2 partners in the past year, subtract 1. In a horror movie, you'd be the resident slut, and will most likely die while doing the nasty.

  2. If you're a virgin, add 4. This is like having a "Get out of Dismemberment Free" card.

  3. If you are black, Asian, Hispanic, Peruvian, or aboriginal, subtract 2. If you have any color or racial feature that is not found in Anglo or Saxon, the grim reaper will definitely be hunting your affirmative action ass.

  4. If you have ever used an Ouija Board, add 1. You obviously have an open mind to the arcane.

  5. If you've ever used the Ouija Board after a previous freaky experience (i.e. objects floating, predictions of death, rise or drop in room temp, temporary possession of a friend) subtract 2. You are obviously are too dumb to take a hint.

  6. If you've ever teased any one in high school or after, subtract 1. Movies like "Carrie" and "Prom Night" have taught us the value to leave the nerdy loners and quiet strange kids alone. Teasers never prosper, but they die pretty gory.

  7. If you've intentionally did something mean to someone, whether they knew it or not, subtract 2. This speaks for itself; your death could only cause the audience to cheer at your bloody demise.

  8. If you've done one unselfish act in the past 6 months, add 1. But it must be truly unselfish, that means no benefit to you, even if it's just feeling good about yourself. This is like super karma in a horror movie. A good deed has a way of coming back and pulling your ass out the fire. (i.e. leaving the safety of the group to rescue someone, just in before the group is slaughtered. Helping the anonymous stranger who happens to have the answer to banishing the demon/back round story on crazed killer/weapon to kill unstoppable monster.)

  9. If your best friend is smarter than you, subtract 1. Let's face it, if your best friend has the inside track on how to stop whatever horrors is occurring, stands to reason that you'll probably be a bloodstain by morning. But not to worry, your death was probably what was needed to give your best buddy the motivation to finally come up with an answer.

  10. If you are, or have been, attracted to (or currently dating) someone who is good looking, but who you have nothing in common with; Or they are stupid, a bitch, or bastard, subtract 1. Not only is your mate doomed for a very "gut-wrenching" death, but also you've inadvertently signed up to join them. Nothing guarantees a vicious death than shallow choices.

  11. If you believe in alternate dimensions, evil leprechauns, killer toys, zombies, and cursed objects, add 1. You're the type who never utters sentences like " There is no such thing as (insert evil that will surely come to kill you later here.)!"

  12. If you know how to read palms, tea leaves, or Tarot Cards, add 1. Being aware of the arcane makes you able to spot it when it comes to slaughter your group on their weekend getaway.

  13. If you've ever tried to summon a demon or specific spirit, subtract 4. If you've ever done this, then your friends should kill you themselves. Saves future problems.

  14. If someone has ever told you that the milk was rotten, and you opened and sniffed it anyway, subtract 1. If you can't take someone's word that the milk has gone bad, then you certainly will not listen when they tell you not to go outside because there's a man with a chainsaw running around.

  15. If you are in good athletic shape, add 1. I don't mean decathlon condition: but if you can hang on to the edge of a roof, run fast enough to beat a slowly closing gate, or lift a cabinet off the ground to get a book with the spell you need to banish Satan, then you're fit as a fiddle.

  16. If you wear expensive, trendy shoes or high heels, subtract 1. Big horror movie no-no. Kinda hard to run from an axe murderer in those clunky, thick heeled shoes. Bruno Mali is not the best choice if you're trying to climb out of a pit that's trying to suck you into hell. Boys and girls, take my advice, always wear a pair of Nike's and you'll never go wrong.

  17. If you ever picked up a hitchhiker, or have ever been hitchhiking, subtract 2 points. You're just begging to be the main course in a horror movie entrée. You deserve whatever evil decides to use you as it's new plaything.

  18. If you can remember the name of 3 teachers in elementary school, add 1. This simple exercise will show you if you have what it takes to remember minute and inconsequential facts. When you're running through an eerie mansion with a couple of other survivors, remembering where the odd butler had earlier placed the now important medallion will be pretty important. Little and seemingly unimportant facts and observances usually become important when people start dying. You never know what will end up being a Scooby Clue.

  19. If you can explain what a hellmouth, a grimoire, and the Lament Configuration is, add 2

  20. If you don't have any close friends, or groups of people you usually hang out with, add 2. Next to being a virgin, this is about as close as you can get to guarantee survival in any type of horror movie. The outsider entering a group of pre-established will end up as the leader, and will most likely end up with the good-looking chick/dude. BEWARE, pick the slut and your death will be exquisitely graphic and painful.

  21. If your breasts are larger than a C cup, subtract 1. If a guy, subtract if you use styling gel and hair spray on your highlighted hair. Anything that makes us attractive to the opposite sex will eventually kill us. Vanity is a sin, and you will pay.

  22. If you're a girl who wears glasses, add 1. If you're a guy who wears glasses, subtract 1. Glasses give the instant air of intelligence. For a girl it adds to the "substance over shallow " horror movie rule, making you the antithesis of the slut. For a guy, you become an instant nerd, making you annoying, cowardly, and expendable. There are exceptions to this rule, but are you willing to bet your immortal soul!!

  23. If you've ever heard a strange noise and went to investigate, subtract 1. Can't you leave mysteries a mystery? Do all strange noises need to be identified and catalog?!?! You are the type that is the foundation of all horror movies. To those who are about to die, I salute you!

  24. If you ever heard a strange noise and got the hell out of Dodge, add 2. It's a difficult thing to run away when you're not sure what you're running away from. It could very well be a stray cat, but you're not gonna take that chance. Sure, maybe later you'll have to explain to your friends why you ran out of the house in your jammies after someone accidentally dropped a plate; but they'd be feeling pretty stupid if it had been a zombie and you were the only one left with an uneaten brain.

  25. If you take good care of your car, and keep an extra set of keys hidden somewhere on the car, add 1. The last thing you need when your running for your life is not having the keys to open your own vehicle. If your going to have the state of mind to out smart the killer/demon/alien in order to escape from mansion/forest/abandoned factory, then take a freaking second to make sure you have keys for said vehicle! Although it's useless to have the keys if your car won't start! If you're having problems with the starter, or being able to shift into gears, it's not a good time to take weekend trips to manors left to you by recently deceased relatives.



28 – 37 Congrats! You live! You're a regular Jamie Lee Curtis. You have what it takes to make it to the end credits, just hope you can handle a sequel. 

21 – 27 Awww, you're dead! But yours' is a death not in vain. You're the type that sacrificed for the good of the group, maybe even got in a few good licks at the Big Bad before getting your heart ripped out. 

16 – 20 You're so dead; it's not even funny! Well, actually it is. You're the type who'll die in some amusing or ironic way. The slut who gets impaled while being "impaled" in her parent's bedroom, the jock who gets beat to death by his own sports equipment, or the motor head who eats his own tire iron. Your death will definitely stand out as among the best of the body counts! Be proud! 

0 – 15 You don't even matter. In the credits you'd be listed as "girl on meat hook" or "boy buried alive". You don't warrant a name, or a reason why you've been turned into chum. You're here only to die, so do it well!

This test was submitted by faithful reader Eva. Thanks for the support and keep'em coming! Also, Thanks to anyone who reads this for the support.