Specials, The (2000)

Info: Directed by Craig Mazin. US 2000, 82min, rated 'R'.

Description: Looking for a great Super-Heroe Movie? Look elsewhere.

Rating: two Jason Masks

CHARACTERS

Ms Indestructible/Emily: Cute superlady married to an ego-maniac.

The Strobe/Ted Tilderbrook: This would be the ego-maniac.

Power Chick/Nancy: Lesbian superlady.

Deadly Girl: Weird superlady with power to summon demons and enter realm of the dead. Shes in love with Strobe.

Minute Man/Tim Tilderbrook: Strobe's brother. Has no idea what a good superheroe name should be. Is it really that hard to come up with 'Shrinking Man' or is he afraid of the innuendo?

Alien Orphan/Doug: Mentally challenged alien. Amok: Former villain turned good (more or less)

Nightbird/Shelly: Cute superlady with dumb power. She lays eggs. Not making this up people.

The Weevil/Tony: Major @$$-hole. Having an affair with Ms. Indestructable.

U.S. Bill: Also mentally challenged.

Mr. Smart/Seymore: Maybe smart but looks like complete dork.

Eight: Has amazing power of being eight people at once. Also has amzing power of speaking in riddles and not so amazing power of bad acting.

Sunshine Girrrl: Not a type-O, she says she spells her name with 3 "r"s in the movie. Clearly the producer had increminating photos on Melissa Joan-Hart to get her to be in this movie.

(new review category-thingy)

BETTER THAN: The Justice League pilot (barely).
NOT AS GOOD AS: Mystery Men.

QOUTES

"When I save someones life God is working through me, in that way I am god."
-Strobe

"One time I got drunk and released a demon at a party. The demon killed a little boy, I feel partly responsible."
-Deadly girl.

"Can it be shaped like Weevil?"
-the Weevil.

REVIEW
I saw this little gem on sci-fi channel while eating sushi and allowing my roomate to clean our dorm room all by herself. She is neurotic and loves to clean so I am nice enough to let her do all of it. In hindsight helping her scrub toilets would have been more fun than this movie.
The Specials is a second rate movie about a day in the life of second rate super-heroes who are finally getting their own second rate action figures. One of their members, Weevil is thinking about moving on to another (more powerful) team. When the team shows up to the press conference where their action figures are released we find out some interesting stuff.
Weevil is boinking Ms. Indestructable (Strobe catches them in the car!). Deadley Girl is in love with Strobe(She punches the not-so-Indistructable-superlady in the face and gives her a black eye). And the action figures suck. Todd McFarlane clearly had nothing to do with those pieces of plastic crap.
A distraught Strobe announces he's disbanding the Specials (I'm so sure super villains will rest easier, NOT). The team mopes then gets drunk and party's, Minute Man bad mouths a fan that asks for his autograph then sleeps with Deadly Girl and then in the morning Strobe tells his wife he is going to punish her by staying married to her (what a monster!) and that he is going to keep the team together (by all thats good and holy please NO SEQUEL!!!).
Your better off cleaning your apartment or trying to hold down Neo's Nachos (YUK!).