Mr. & Mrs. Smith
200520th Century Fox
Rated R120min

Mr. and Mrs. Smith is one of those movies you see the trailers for and think, “Oh my God, I have to see that! Angelina Jolie is so frickin’ Hott!” And when you’re walking out of the theatre afterwards you’re thinking “What the hell is my problem? That movie sucked! Why did I want to see this anyway?” Perhaps things would have been different had Jolie been naked or flashed a bit of skin.

The plot is a very simple one yet some what original. Mr. Smith is an international spy slash high end bounty hunter. Mrs. Smith is also one yet neither one knows about the other. Their identities are so secret they don’t even know about each other. After they both receive the same mission and happen across one another during the “hit,” things take a turn for the worst and they end up having to kill each other. Funny thing is they can’t. After some ass kicking scenes of domestic violence, man hits woman, woman hits man, neighbors call police, they end up having mad passionate sex and join forces to fight each of their employers.

How was the movie over all? Let’s just say that as hott as Jolie is, she had a very hard time keeping me in my seat! It was way too rushed, or at least felt that way. The music was clichéd and action scenes were so … so … argh! Plain and simple, they were stupid. Way too over the top and blurred. Now I did enjoy the slow motion gun play that we have seen all too much in Jolie’s previous TOMB RAIDER series. To see it the way it should have been done, check out EQUALIBRIUM! In my humble opinion, it had far better gun choreography. To be perfectly honest though, the action was pretty much the only bit wrong with the film. Problem being is that action made up about two thirds of this movie. Action scenes in general were done almost amateurish. The background action was blurred and just incoherent. You’re watching the film and people are just falling everywhere, but you have no idea why.

Now the factor of this being way too over the top is another majority problem. See, its one thing to have a secret organization who hunts international political criminals, but to totally blow your cover by chasing a rogue agent is another thing entirely. The used hundreds of agents for this for Chrissake! Oh and to send out helicopters, secretive yet totally conspicuous BMWs, and destroy a motel. Sheesh. How do you expect the locals to not notice something is up? I suppose they figure the townsfolk are like the people watching, dazzled by shiny objects and easily distracted. Again, I just don’t understand why with a film based solely around action, they would opt to go about it so half-assed.

I’m just guessing that this film was purely to bring even more media attention to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. As if we didn’t get enough of them every damn day as we are inundated with their faces on the covers of popular magazines with headlines like “Why Brad, Why?” “She’s a home wrecker!” “blah blah blah, your brain has melted!” “Bat boy sees MR. AND MRS. SMITH. Turns self in.” I don’t know. All I do know is my girlfriend dragged me to go see this. I got my revenge though. She had to sit through LAND OF THE DEAD. Heeheehee

Will I see this film again? Only if it is playing in the bathroom of a local restaurant. Do I plan on getting the DVD? Only if they have deleted scenes where Jolie is actually naked! Would I recommend it for others to view? Only one person and that is simply because she has a major crush on Angelina Jolie! (speaking of which, Aztome is it? I have a signed picture for you if you want it!) Don’t go into this expecting to be entertained though. Just wait for the DVD, sit back and watch the Jolie scenes in slow motion and pleasure yourself with a bag of Spicier Nacho flavored Doritos™ and Lemonade. Guaranteed that will help you enjoy the film a lot more than seeing it in the theatre with a $24 bag of popped corn and a $15 medium diet soda! STAY AWAY!! Stay very very far away!