Leprechaun in the Hood
Rated R90min

Mack Daddy - The Mack Dad'll make ya jump, jump! Played by Ice-T, Mack Daddy, steals the golden flute and becomes a rap producer. Eventually killed by our Leprechaun.

Postmaster P - The "P" stands for "Positive Message"! Steals the flute from Mack and becomes a zombie rapper for the Leprechaun.

Stray Bullet - Stray is the resident 'wannabe' gangsta. Thankfully he is forced to shoot himself by the Leprechaun. hmm Maybe Lep isn't that bad of a guy after all!

Butch - Hard to believe this moronic virgin is the "brains" of the bunch. Ice-T proves his worth by shooting this guy!

Miss Fontain Rivera - Actually a guy. This crossdresser ends up having sex with our little Leppy-poo, at least that's the impression that was given, before having his/her/it's neck torn out by him.

Chow Yung Pi - Not a pivotal character in the least but he deserved a mention just for his name! Dismembered and pickled by Lepmaster Death!

Reverend Hamson - Reverend of the church/bail bondsman in the Ghetto where our "rap group" live. Has nice taste in women but alas, Lep tears out his mid-section.

Mack Daddy's Body Guard - I don't even remember if this guy even had lines yet he manages to be heads up in the credits. Must have been related to the idiots who made this film. "blown" by the little tyke, Leprechaun.

Leprechaun - Warwick Davis must have been high to agree to this role. This time our little Lep is a ghetto wise rapper who becomes producer. *sigh* When will the maness end?

*No one is safe from a Lep in da hood!

*The only record deal you're getting is with the LAPD!

*I'll see y'all on Judge Judy.

*A friend with weed is a friend indeed.

*Is there pussy in Heaven Post?

*If a tree falls in the bathroom, take time to smell the forest.

*Hip and hop your black ass home.

*I didn't come to play fruit. I only seek me magic flute.

*Come closer, come closer, my fresh young lass. Let me take a look at'cha before I tap your ass.

5min: Killed by a hair pick, now that's original.
6min: He just pulled a damn bat and swithblade from his 'fro.
8min: Gladys Knight has nothing to worry about!
9min: Be positive NOW ha ha ha
12min: Kewl! A baby monkey in a jar!
35min: Here's a thought free of charge, LEAVE TOWN!
36min: That is one ugly Queen and he/she/it has a dildo centa' piece.
37min: Reality dawns on Postmaster P.
38min: Honor? What honor? You're a man in pink leather who wants to be a woman! What honor?
41min: Kewl! A shrunken head in a jar!
43min: Curiosity can be a very bad thing!
45min: What's a "guy" doing with douche anyway?
51min: Time to get all funky up in the Lord's Hizzouse!
52min: Now you this film sucks! There's Coolio.
60min: Zombie fly girls? He has zombie fly girls? I don't know if I should be jealous or frightened.
63min: I imagined rap concerts to be more ... I don't know ... violent!
68min: So he shot his chin. Big deal! At least he wasn't aiming for his brain!
70min: Well if not, she meets with mine!! Send her this way!
74min: Leprechauns for dummies? I'll pretend like I didn't just see a book titled "Leprechauns for dummies" in this frickin' film!
80min: Damn. Poor Butch died a virgin.

YO YO YO! Da hip hop hamstah is in the hizzouse. Comins to ya live and in full effect wit ma review for Lep in da hood!

Ok, so the movie begins with Ice-T and his friend finding gold, a flute, and a statue that looks alot like an Irish midget. Ice-T is immediately drawn to the flute, instead of the loads of gold laying everywhere. Nobody ever accused the guy of being a rocket scientist. His friend, meanwhile, removes the chain from around the neck of the statue thus releasing the Leprechaun. This naturally leads to the poor guy's death. Now Ice-T begins pulling weapons from his 'fro to beat the little guy with. I'm sure the writer was high and/or drunk when he wrote this. Finally Mr. T, the bad one, not the good one, gets the chain back around the Leprechaun's neck and turns him back into a statue.

Many, many years pass and we see our protagonist, Postmaster P (the name means he's delivering a positive message) and his two rapper buddies practicing for a big contest in Vegas. Unfortunatly their stereo equipment is blown and they need to replace it fast! They get the clever idea of putting a fake Jimi Hendrix autograph on an old guitar. Unfortunatly the fecking eedjits date the autograph a couple of years AFTER Jimi had died!

After two seperate pawn shops politely explain to them how stupid they are, Postmaster P and his buddies decide to perform for Ice-T, who has become a famous rap producer/pimp. After they perform, Ice-T tells them their positive message wont fly, that he only produces gangsta rap. Postmaster P refuses to sing gangsta rap and Ice-T has them tossed.

At this point Postmaster P completely sells out and agrees to rob Ice-T. The three eedjits steal the gold, the magic flute, and release the Leprechaun. They pawn the gold and buy new equipment so they can be in the contest, then they hide out.

The Leprechaun kills the two pawnbrokers then goes looking for his magic flute which is still in the possession of Post. Post soon discovers the flutes amazing hynotic power. The Leprechaun gets the flute back and kills one of Post's friends. Postmaster now tries to steal it back and winds up getting his other friend killed. Not a very good day to be a friend of Postmaster P! Ice-T also dies at this point.

In the end, the Leprechaun gets his flute back, becomes Postmaster P's new manager, and hooks up with three cute zombie fly girls. I'm not kidding!

This movie had some of the worst rapping I have ever heard. Post sucks even when blasphemizing in the house of God. One of his raps was about Jesus being a gangsta or something. Ice-T can't act or rap. But still, this movie was somehow enjoyable. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't by any stretch of the imagination anything that might be mistaken for being good, but it did make me laugh.

P.S. - Word to Neo's mutha! Tanks for providen da blunts and da 40's for dis little session in Da Dungeon!

This movie is like a bout of syphilis. You can't end the pain and it's severely irritating. I'll be pissing fire for the next week and a half! Thanks to you Hamster. Remind me to repay the favor someday!

I tried so desperatly to get hamster to put this DVD back on the shelf. See, my friend Jedi and I rented this about 2 years ago and about ten minutes into it Jedi had to call the paramedics. I guess I blacked out and I tried to beat myself retarded with a Hello Kitty doll. Once the E.M.T.'s left, we took the tape out of the VCR and headed back to the video store where I rented this filth and proceeded to beat the store clerk with my unused portion of the tape. This only went to spur hamster on and want to rent it even more. I really should learn to either keep my mouth shut or even feign some sort of enjoyment in the hopes of detouring him towards something a bit more enjoyable on my part!

Now I like Ice-T and I've even seen him on the HBO special "Pimps up, Ho's down.". I still think his "Body Count: " CD was his best ever and I have even been searching for years to get a hold of the uncut version on CD. But there was something about this film that has ruined him forever in my eyes. I can't seem to pin point it but it may have something to do with his pulling of a switchblade and a baseball bat from his afro, or even his exploited and way over the top pimp/producer image. Either way, I've almost dropped my quest for Body Count!

What about the other characters? Postmaster P, Stray Bullet, Chow Yung Pi, or the transexual Miss Fontain?This is the perhaps the worst list of characters I have seen since the party list at Charlie Sheen's house! Could even one of them act either? Let's just say I would rather watch a three hour compilation of Anna Kournikova's appearence in "Me, Myself, & Irene". At least she's hot as hell! The only thing hot about this film was my searing hatred I have for everyone involved!