Review for "Ghoulies 2"

Ghoulies 2

Taryn Prod.

Rated PG-13

89min

RATINGS

Neo

Larry Prentice - This Johnny Depp wannabe is perhaps the lowest point of the film. Well that coupled with the plot, direction, budget, acting, SFX, well you get the idea. He is a carnie who has a thing for one of the other carnies, Nicole. You know, I remember when I was like 5 I had a thing for a girl named Nicole. Nicole Waters was her name. I hear she has made something of herself in Massachusetts. uh. Imagine that. And now I am stuck making reviews for crappy films like this I can only wish the same fate befall Larry.

Nicole - She was cute. At least from what I remember. Thin, light brown hair, and the cutest smile I think I have ever seen on a girl since that fateful day in 1st grade. We would play and build things with the blocks ... wait ... you want to know about the character in the movie? Ok, your loss. This blonde bimbo worked for another carnival first. Although cute and somewhat dumber than a bag of sand, she eventually becomes Larry's girlfriend. I suppose you woud have to be in order to act in this film or even to date the likes of Larry.

Sir Nigel Pennywig - I swear, anytime a script calls for a gruff looking "little person", this guy is there. He plays Sabrina's cousin or something on "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" he was also in "The Creeps" and countless other productions. But the character was just down right annoying. He swore he was a "Real actor," all the while spouting out quotes from Shakespeare. Couldn't have been too much of a "real actor" working at a carnival!

Phillips Hardin - The epitome of a bad accountant. He ends up taking over the carnival, running it into the ground and eventually eaten from the ass in by the sea creature ghoulie. I suppose there are worse ways of going. (snicker)

Uncle Ned - This alcoholic geezer thinks he is responsible for the ghoulies sudden burst on the scene. I hate to break it to you pops, but your magic sucks and sticks of yesteryear. No wait, that's gin. Thankfully he is electrocuted by the mini-demons.

Patty - How can you say "lost her muffy" about the carnival whore with a straight face? This lanky, but kind of cute blonde finally bites it by being slashed. I think she would have been better off being "cut" from the film!

Merle -hehehe. This tough talking dweeb gets his when the ghoulie boys tie him up and watch the pendulum slice him through. Crappy character + swinging blade of doom = pretty cool death scene!

*Satan's den to Aladdin's harem.

*You seen my little muffy?

*I don't need any demons, I got my own private ones.

*This place is better than Epcot Center!

*I'm a magician you sons of bitches. You can't kill me!

*They're not rats, they're monkies.

*He's got a good appetite for demons, but how do we get rid of him?

Garages have open barrels of extremely toxic solvents just lying around.
Police will assume a crime scene with a dead body, blood and a pentagram made of said blood, is just an accident.
Accountants are ruthless!
When you are being attacked by creatures from the deepest bowels of hell, you will always have time to change.
Gigantic demons have no manners.
Demons are easily fooled by stuffed demons.

1min: The moon is always full in these here films.
3min: WOW. The KKK looks pissed about something.
8min: It already has better SFX than the first one.
12min: Well that was quite disturbing!
21min: That's the ugliest damn rabbit I have ever seen.
33min: Tell me someone didn't just say "Monsterific!"
38min: What the hell kind of rats do they have in Greenville if these people think -THEY- are rats?
47min: That can't be very sanitary.
51min: If he is supposed to be dead, shouldn't they tell that to the pulse in his neck?
52min: Random act of violence against a cup of coffee.
60min: Wasn't the carnival closed a second ago?
71min: Just had to have an explosion huh?
73min: See what happens when people flush baby demons?
83min: That's one hell of a case of heartburn!

What the hell is with W.A.S.P. being on almost every soundtrack to low budget horror films? I never really liked the band to begin with and now I am being forced to listen to them in these crap flicks. As if listening to them wasn't bad enough, the film"Dungeonmaster" actually threw them in the film and made their scene a concert giving us double the sucktitude. Ghoulies 2 is no exception to this new found phenomena! They were again on THIS soundtrack.

Want to hear something else unbelievable? It was filmed in Rome Italy.Where was the Vatican when this crapfest was being filmed?Shouldn't they have come and shut them down, saving my Italian heritage the embarressment? It isn't bad enough the jokes we have to suffer, like the Italian tanks with 2 speeds forward and 38 in reverse, but now add this to our list of disgraces and it has finally reached my limit!

Now this film did have some redeeming qualities over the 1st one, like better FX for starters. The Ghoulies looked a bit better and they even had some stop motion animation to them so that we get to see them move without some drunken guys hand crammed up their asses. They look a bit more ruthless and their murders are much more inventive than before. A swining bladed pendulum was a great tool for one murder scene.

But with every thing that happened I had to ask why people are so stupid? I mean there is a man tied to a table with a knife jammed in his leg screaming for help and how this is not a joke, I'm not joking, please help for the love of God, are you just going to look at the demons, call them rats, and laugh at how realistic the show is?I'm not sure about you but rest assured, I am hauling my happy ass out of there without looking back! Anyway, much better than the first film but Ghoulies 2 is not without it's problems!