Review for "Demon Keeper"

Demon Keeper

Cheryl Latimer
Films

Rated R

71min

RATINGS

Neo

Remy Grilland - This medium is the genius behind the summoning of Asmodius and the down-fall of everyone unfortunate enough to be in this film. Thankfully this fake medium is struck down by lightening but not before making us suffer through more than an hour of the worst film sequences I have seen since "Curse of the Screaming Dead" or "Night of Bloody Horror!"

Margo Evans - This poor fool is Remy's girlfriend. Personally I think it was just a front for a deeper secret Remy may have been hiding besides the fact that he's a charlatan. Either way, she was put out of her misery, and ours, by being slashed by Remy.

Chris Gregory - Insensitive husband and skeptic seem to run hand in hand in this guys mind field. Get this, he was put out of our misery but taking scissors to the shoulder and a sword through the chest. Ahhhh, the amazing dueling weapons of the middle ages.

Dia Gregory - Just basics on this wench. She's an alcoholic wife to Chris and she ends up being eaten. Just the facts ma'am.

Isobelle Elliot - This old coot is under the delusion that Remy is for real! Of course, as such, she is possessed and strikes out at Remy. I think she was just pretending. I mean come on, we all wanted to take a swing at Remy. This poor fool missed and tumbled over the balcony though.

Alexander Harris - At least that's what he goes by. We all know him as that guy from the A-Team, Dirk Benedict! This overly eccentric medium is the real deal. He even takes the demon into his own soul to bind him there and save humanity. Poor sap.

*Born of a man from the seed of an angel.

*He acted as if he was wabid!

*This is not exactly Dr. Frankenstein's house.

*He who holds the ring controls the destiny of the beast.

*Sweaty old men with tubs of lar hanging off of them.

Spirit guides are actually hot naked babes with big hooters.
Mediums aren't exactly overly bright.
Old rich ladies are easily swindled.
Demons look better on film than ther actor counterparts.
Zimbabwe looks a lot like Connecticut.
Apparently there is no acting career after "A-Team."

3min: Random Gratuitous Breast Shot
6min: Watch out Tyson, here comes Chris
12min: Everyone in this film has gone down with a single punch.
22min: Were you two born in a friggin' barn? Close the damn door!
27min: Random Gratuitous Breast Shot
28min: Oh yeah baby! Girl on girl action ROCKS!
35min: Random Gratuitous Breast Shot
37min: Random Gratuitous Breast Shot
58min: What the hell? Didn't Chris just tell him to stay on the couch?
60min: I thought Chris told them all to stay in the living room. Now they are all in their own rooms? I hope they all die horrible deaths.
62min: Random Gratuitous Breast Shot
66min: Wait a minute. Wasn't that costume used in the film gargoyles?

This film was chock full of lessons. For example, did you know that Zimbabwe resembles Connecticut? Oh but that's not it. I also didn't know that Dirk Benedict was so hard up for cash that he would have taken on a role like the one seen here. Oh Dirk. If only A-Team would have run another year or so, huh!?
Demon Keeper deals with a medium Remy Grilland and how he swindles people out of their hard earned dough. Desperate for one more "caper", Remy decides to have everyone over to his house for a sort of sleep over. Unfortunatly one of the patrons has declared that he will bring another medium of his own, Alexander Harris, played by none other than Dirk himself. Now in orer to prove that he is the real thing, Rey uses a real spell and ends up summoning a real demon, Asmodius. This ends in disaster as Asmodius has now decided that he is going to kill everyone in the house, including the two cute sidekicks and the one who summoned him.
Well after a bit of set-up, a disappointing plot, and some of the worst demon FX I have ever seen, I was let down even further by the ending. Now I would love to say something good about the film other than the little girl/girl touching action that we got to see, but other than that, there was nothing! Let's start with the demon. The scenes with him were much more crisp and vibrant than the others. Aside from that, the demon looked like something right out of the film Gargoyles, only less enjoyable.
The demon wasn't the only thing bad though. Hell, that could have been over looked if only the acting was at least on par. Not even the A-Team's "Face" could save this film. In fact his was among the worst in the film. I would suggest leaving this video on the shelf and finding something a bit more fun ASAP. Say, something like, The Olsen Twins in Italy or some crap.