|© 1995||Royal Oaks|
Mr. Jack Ford - It's amazing what some people will do for money. Take This guy for example. I guess after playing Dar he couldn't find anything else that suited him so he became a droid gunner and bounty Hunter in this, the lamest of all films. I wanted so badly to hand him a razor and some soap, pointing him in the direction of the nearest bathroom. I just wish I could have done something about his acting as well.
Beth Wright - This "private secretary" of Mr. Reginald was sent along with Jack to keep an eye on him and I guess report back from time to time and disable the pleasure droids. Instead, this hot business woman babe pretends to be a hooker, gets drunk, and leaves her career all for an unshaven jackass.
Hawks - I do believe this is what Hitler had in mind as the perfect race. This smuggler, who puts Han to shame, was about 6'6" tall with long blonde hair and the features of a Norse God! Hell, I questioned my own sexuality watching him. The only thing that would have made him better would have been if he could act! Thankfully we were spared too much pain since he was shot by Walsh.
Mr. Reginald - CEO Businessman of the major corporation that hired Jack to retrieve his highly illegal pleasure droids. Not a big part and frankly, it could have been done by way of just a voice (i.e. Charlie).
Charles Humberstone - A tight-assed conservative crimeboss who runs New Angeles, or as I like to call him, Jackass #1. Thankfully this moron (who is the whole reason the Pleasure Droids are here) was vaporized once a glowing rod was jammed through his chest. I could think of about 2 other places that rod should have been jammed!
Moria - This gorgeous Pleasure Droid was by far the hottest of them all and as such, the one with the most lines. Just incase she reads this review, "I love you!! I want to have your children! I would sell my right nad for one touch of your sweet flesh!" Ok, that should do it!
Kitten - I'll give you three guesses as to her profession. If you guessed that this cat-human hybrid was the hottest elf looking stripper in all the land, you guessed right! I would sell my LEFT nad for this one! whoooooo yeah!
*I'm cyber trained in judo and karate.
*We're looking for some women. Good looking and nonmutant.
*The nuns over at the soup kitchen are pretty hot. Those are a few habits I'd like to get under!
*Nah ... She's not for sale ... yet!
*It's a whore-house that specializes in nonmutant women.
*Let's go to my place. I have a band-aid there.
*You can take your payment in cash or lead. Which would you like?
*What the ...? You're a human? Think of the diseases!
*I'm programmed to excel in bondage as well as group sex.
1min: Rochelle Swanson? Well, if nothing else, we'll get boobs!
3min: A peashooter took his bottom jaw off? I see continity wont get in the way of this film.
6min: Random Gratuitous Breast Shot
11min: Random Gratuitous Breast SHOTS
14min: Yes, he's clearly gay!
15min: Random Gratuitous Breast SHOTS
25min: Random Gratuitous Breast Shot
28min: In a matter of 3 minutes it has turned as dark as midnight. hmmm
34min: Random Gratuitous Breast Shot
36min: And I too feel like screaming and running out of the room right about now.
66min: Why do crime lords and evil warlords insist on hiring the mentally handicapped? Are they equal opportunity employers?
68min: I don't think pleasure droids are supposed to look like they would rather sever their own limbs off than stay another minute with you.
73min: What's he checking the script for, his next line?
76min: Random Gratuitous Breast Shot
Well what can I say about this movie?!? It started off with lots of space "dancing" in a circle. So we are 5 minutes into the film and I'm already dizzy from all the spinning stars. As I'm praying that this movie wont be so bad we see a droids guts spill out ... gross. But wait, it gets better, or at least I thought so. We get introduced to this guy who's mission it is to find these four pleasure droids. I know I'm a girl and I probably shouldn't say this, but the pleasure droids were the best part of the movie.
So Jack goes through some pretty tough times trying to save the sex bots but he only manages to find 3 of them. So when it's time to give them back, he tries to pass of his human assistant as one of the sexy pleasure droids.They, of course, get caught but he manages to successfully fight off a shit load of androids.
I knew this movie was going to be bad when, about 4 minutes into the film, my boyfriend, Neo, put his hair in pigtails and said it was comfortable. I really don't think I wanna watch this movie again but you never know. One day when the world is almost over, and I'm bored out of my skull, maybe, just maybe, I'll watch it again. But please don't think I would watch it because it was "good" or anything ... I'll only watch it because the droids were hot! So go and see this movie but please, exercise extreme caution and remember I warned you.
Jack Ford is a droid gunner and bounty hunter to pull in a little extra cash. He is then hired by Mr. Reginald to locate a shipment of lost pleasure droids. Problem being, Hawks, an intergalactic smuggler, was also hired to locate, retrieve, and deliver these hot sex pots. Now it isn't bad enough that these droids are considered illegal and anyone caught with them (I would pay to see that episode of COPS) would spend many lives in prison, but Mr. Reginald has demanded that Beth Wright accompany Jack in his mission. *sigh* Women will only slow you down Jack.
There are twists and plot holes every which way and breasts just a-floppin' everywhere. It was great!! Well except for the story twists that were painully evident miles before they happened and the plot holes that were so rampant that this film reminded me of something swiss! Mostly I just stared and tried not to kill too many braincells by concentraiting on the film but with hotties like Kitten and the feckin' Goddess Moria, it was kind of hard! Check this film out ASAP!