Mr. Matt Moorehouse - Poetry/english teacher by day, Demon thwarter by night. Helps rid the town of the evil Kato Kalin wanna-be's all the while fending off advances by one sexy student.
Julie Sullivan - Sexy student who has a thing for Matt. Kills quite a few people before coming to her senses that 80's rock just plain sucks!
Johnny - Has a thing for Julie and whining about how his life sucks donkey ass! Shoots his own father because Damian told him to through a rock power ballad.
Damian - Lead singer to Black Roses and head demon of the "Rock Invasion". Eventually run out of town by fire and Matt.
Mayor Neil Farnsworth - Mayor. Did I really have to spell that one out for you? Pretty much a useless character but help serve as emotional set up for his daughter's death.
Pricilla - The Mayor's Daughter. Obviously had something with Matt at one point in time but the relationship looks like it failed because of Julie. Throat was slit by Julie.
Janie Miller - Slut girl who sets up her father's death with her friend. Hot but a little slow in the mental area.
Tina - Janie's "Whore in Training" friend who eventually give's Mr. Miller a heart attack due to her stripping show.
Tony Aimes & his pop - Tony is the muscle bound neanderthal who seems to like Black Roses a little too much. Eventually summons forth a Cerwin-Vega monster to eat his father.
* Let's make blood city!
* I said I was gonna paint the town red and that's what I'm gonna Do!
* Only two kinds of guys wear earrings. Pirates and Faggots and I don't see a ship in our driveway!
* A simple cartoon skull means a whole hell of a lot more than it appears!
* Whining and compaining about your future will not win over your date!
* Once oxygen hits red paint, it ignites!
* Rock invasions are led by Kevin Sorbo impersonators!
* Satan has no taste in music
* Stereo monsters love Italian
* Demons are easily defeated by poetry teachers
* Heaven gets all the smart people and Hell gets all the retards!
1min: Damn the music in the 80's sucked! You would think a band of devil worshippers would have more edge!
14min: I'm singin' in the rain! Yes singin' in the rain!!
15min: Random act of violence against an sign!
17min: Strange mist and burning paint. Never a good sign!
21min: Men should NOT wear leather! ICK!!
25min: ARRRGGGHHH!!! His outfit got worse!! He looks like he is going to a S&M club!
34min: OH NO!!! There's a monster in my speaker! I better crawl away slowly rather than standing up and RUNNING!!
39min: Random act of violence against a car window.
44min: Random gratuitous breast shot!
45min: Random act of violence against an action figure.
47min: Random act of violence against a trash can.
48min: Random gratuitous breast shot!
51min: Random gratuitous breast shot!
60min: Random gratuitous breast shot!
61min: Do they really need to show her breast exam?
68min: Random gratuitous breast shot!
70min: I kind of feel like that when I don't get "any" also.
71min: Damian looks a lot better as a demon than he does as an impersonation of the lead singer to Cinderella!
This was a time in history when music truely sucked ass! Hair bands like Warrant and pop icons like Prince and Michael Jackson still annoy me today. The 80's also produced b-movies and even mainstream movies filled with shallow, bland characters with no heart or personality. Characters whose motives and backgrounds are so empty and meaningless they threaten to consume the cosmos in a black hole of souless crap!
Black Roses neatly combines crappy 80's music with crappy 80's movies! A "rock" band deceides to play a series of concerts in some sh*tty little town. The band in question is seen as an evil influence on the teenage cannon fodder living in town. So the town's leaders sit in on the first concert and deceide after one song that the band is perfectly wholesome. Of course after the second concert, the teens begin slaughtering the populace.
I would like to make one thing perfectly straight!
For a Satanically influenced band, the Black Roses have about as much edge as a Barney sing-a-long. Their leader, Damian (real original),dresses like his plans for the evening are going to a gay pride parade, followed by a night at an exclusive S&M dungeon! (no affiliation to Neo & Hamster's Dungeon!) Of course in the 80's it was perfectly acceptable for male lead singers to look like chicks, so hey, whatever!
At least a lot of annoying people got eaten, stabbed, slashed, fell out of 3rd story buildings, or had heart attacks! The movie did have a few neat looking monsters too! One of the poetry teacher's female students turned into an odd big headed freaky sex craving monster I liked. One guy was eaten by his stereo too.
If you can tolerate the bad music, this flick is worth a rental!