Bad Channels
1992Full Moon
Rated NR80min

Dangerous Dan O'Dare - Perhaps the most worthless DJ known to man. I would much rather listen to Rush L. than have to deal with this idiot on a daily basis. To make matter worse, he falls for Martha Quinn's character. I could only imagine the kind of offspring these two could produce.You know how I always mention how these idiots should wear their intestines as Mardi Gras beads? Watch this film to find out why I feel so strongly about that!

Lisa Cummings - Oh how the jokes could just simply fly about her name. This waste of skin was played by yet another flesh bag that should have been brought to the curb long ago, Martha Quinn. That's right, as if she wasn't annoying enough on MTV, she had to invade our films and send them plummeting down the porcelain spiral of death. I only wished that this pompous reporter would die in some horrible fashion. I am beginning to get a complex since my prayers constantly go unanswered!

Flip Humble - Yes, you read the name right. This Urkle gone wrong character plays the reporter in the station who goes back and forth with Lisa. Too bad none of them have anything good to say. Anyway, he is in on a scheme with Dan and they play the listeners and viewers like a cheap "Deliverance" banjo.

Vernon Locknut - Vernon owns the staton where all this debauchery takes place! He also loses out on everything once it is destroyed. Thankfully something horrid happened to someone who desvered it.

Bunny, Cookie, & Ginger - The only reasons to watch this film besides the video by Sykotik Sinfoney. Bunny is a stump dumb cymbol player for a local High School Band. Cookie is a waitress at Corky's diner and truck stop. And Ginger is a nurse who I would love to get a little sponge bath from. If anything, watch it for these three hotties!!

*Peanut, if you don't shut off that damn polka music I'm gonna go bug eyed crazy.

*Oh yeah. Air force from another planet!

*Help me, oh God help me, I have cooties.

*It looks like a turd with a porthole window.

This son of a bitch is crazier than a tree full of owls.

*I'm so happy, I'm full of joy. I'm lying. It really sux!

1min: Martha Quinn? I feel faint already!
5min: KDUL? K-DULL?? Why do I feel this is foreshadowing?
10min: This school band has some serious issues!
20min: Is that considered Chinese "take-out?"
34min: Weren't the phone lines dead just a second ago?
37min: Between this filth and Death by Dialogue, I'm about to go ballistic if one more hand band comes out of no where!
43min: Dancig fungus? Will this replace dancing hamsters?
47min: I now know where Nirvana got the idea for their Teen Spirit video.
57min: Well I hope that if we are forced to watch many moremusic videos, they are more like this one!
68min: I've just witnessed the death of Crow T. Robot. Rest in Peace sweet droid. We hardly knew ye!
73min: How much of the ozone was killed making this "movie?"
78min: YEAH!!! THE CREDITS!!!!
82min: Dollman and Bunny? I don't like where this is going!

I hate this film with the firy passion of a thousand suns! It was one of the first Full Moon films I was ever subjected to way back in the early 90's. I was given the promotional VHS tape from a friend I had at the local video store. If I had known then what I know now, I would have beaten him to a bloody pulp with a frenzy matched only by that of a rabid howler monkey on crack! After which I would have made him eat the box and tape by way of his ass.

Originality was definitely a good point of this film but my God man, it had Marth Quinn! We start the film with some supposedly "cool" and dangerous DJ pulling some stunt about listening to polka until some idiot can guess the combination to the lock that has him chained to the wall. I say we just leave him to rot! Anyway, he seems to have bribed some TV news anchor as part of his little stunt and pisses off the reporter, Lisa, sent to interview him in the process. While outside fighting over something I could care a rats ass less about, Lisa played by Martha "I need a job after MTV" Quinn, spots a UFO. Hilarity and hijinx ensue.

A fungus alien who looks like a giant snot with a porthole shows up and zaps the asian camera man assistant into oblivion and takes over the radio station. Guess why. To kidnap hot young women! But why you ask? Well, that's simple to answer. NO FUCKIN' REASON! This film has no purpose, motive, or entertainment value at all! It only served to act as a spin off of MTV in a desperate attempt to get Martha back into the music scene but with bands like Sykotik Sinfoney. Thankfully it didn't work!

Fungular, that's what I call the alien, sets to getting his plan in motion and uses our "hero" to focus in on all these hot babes, shrinking them all into these little collectable bottles he has set up to hold these now doll size prisoners. But again the question of "why" once again arises. Ok, listen folks, here is the major spoiler. They never tell you why! The only reason I can even begin to think of is to make companions for Dollman, who actually has a promotional cameo after the credits.

As if the secret of the plot wasn't enough, you find no redeeming factors to this film. NOTHING! Hell, they get so stupid with this that a generic version of lysole, called germasol, is the only thing that can kill the fungus creaure! The more I think about the movie, the more I think I would have rather watched a springer episode about farmers who "love" their pets while cross dressing and worshipping Satan shaped potato chips behind the barn, Alien 3, or even a documentary on Nazi sex fetishes featuring grannies.I stress again, no redeeming factors! Forget this film and go rent something a bit more enjoyable, like Debbie Does Down Under!