Freddy vs. Jason
© 2003New Line
Rated Raprox.90min
RATINGS
Neo


Kia - Let's get the annoying little tramps out of the way first. Kia is played by the ever talented, *snicker*, Kelly Rowland of Destiny's Child. Let's just say she should have stuck to singing! In FvJ she plays the black urban babe obsessed with her looks. This leads to a nice little line from Freddy early on but eventual dies out quickly. Kia, Krappy Inanimate Actress, thankfully bites it after being impaled. Go Jason! Maybe Kia means "Killed In Action." heeheehee

Gibb - Truckers hat, long jeans, no brain. I'm sure the trailer park is going to miss this one. I will say this, she was kind of cute but damn. She was dumber than a bag full of sheeot! Just my type I guess. LoL This little alcoholic bites it after being impaled at a cornfield rave while passed out and being taken advantage of by the Dan Akroyd "Alien Thing" from "Spies Like Us." na na na na. na na na na. hey hey hey ... goo-ood bye!

Lori - Ahhh. Finally. Our "Hero." This Britney Murphy wannabe was actually a kind of downer for the film. She was too stupid most of the time to know what was going on around her and too trusting to care. Perfect character for this kind of film! Bravo Ronny, Bravo. Unfortunatly she survives and may be in the sequel. Oh yes people, a possibe sequel!

Will - This was a character from one of the previous story lines I guess. I don't remember so I can't make a comment just yet. After I watch these films over again and see this one again this weekend, maybe I will have a smart ass comment. Anyway, Will and Lor were"lovers" when they were younger. That is until Will fingered Lori's dad to be the killer of her mom. After which he was sent away with other kids from Elm Street to be studied and have their dreams suppressed. Will eventually escapes to rejoin Lori and save the day ... assclowns!

Linderman - School geek who kind of gets a babe. blah blah blah. This butt pirate eventually bleeds to death after trying to take on Jason. You're no frickin' "Hurricane Helms" there genius!

Trey - Let's just cut to the chase on this one. Trey is the school jock and assclown who gets stabbed brutally from behind by Jason and then has the bed folded up on top of him. *sigh* I love a good murder like that! Score another for my man JASON!!! woof woof woof!!!

Blake - Trey's passenger on the Hershey Highway! This poser jock was along for the ride in the hopes of getting with Lori. Poor Bastard! He gets his father beheaded and gets to play checkers with death for his trouble! (not literally. don't go looking for a scene from Bill & Ted in this piece of cinematic history folks!)

Misc. - Then there's Jason, Freddy, a bunch of insignificant teens, a few cops, a Jason Mews pot-head rip-off, doctors, blah blah blah. Lets just call everyone, except Jason and Freddy, Machete fodder.




Let's just say that although I was disappointed with quite a few things, this film was still enjoyable purely on the campiness. I will start with the bad. You know, save the best for last. :-)

Kelly Rowland should not have been in this film. Her acting skills are dry, not believable, and delivered with nothing behind them. I didn't feel a thing for her character one way or the other. Pop stars should not have anything to do with films like this. Now the chick who played Gibb, and even some of Lori, were delivered with feeling and as such, I felt something when they died. Be it relief or anguish, they were able to evoke some sort of emotion from the audience. To be able to do that when paired against the likes of Jason and Freddy is a feat all in it's own! You should take lessons from these people Kelly and not who ever your acting coach was back in High School! Let's hope Jessica Biel does better in the TCM remake.

I was hoping for a bit more flashback as well. Especially on the part of Jason. Unfortunatly I think Freddy was the main draw for this film. WJRR, our local radio station that sponsered this sneak screening asked the audience and us Jason fans were drowned out by the screams of the unintelligent. LoL Sorry, had to get a dig in. Jason did have quite a few cools parts though. It was good to see Pamela Vorhees back as well but it would have been better to see her take the Machete just once. Before I go any further, I had a huge problem with Kane NOT being Jason in this film, but even worse than that... the Jason make-up. They went back to old school Jason. Grey head, Mask that stuck out from his face, hair, just everything I didn't really care for about Jason's look. I wanted the mask embedded in face, torn overalls, deformed head with no hair Jason.

Let me go ahead and sum this up. Did I like it? Yes. Will I see it again? Yes. Will I buy the DVD? Damn right I will. How is Freddy able to exist after the Dream Demons abandoned him? If I remember correctly he learned their power while they used him and focused on how to use it himself. I think. Is the blood over the top? Oh hell yeah. Too over the top if you ask me. Comical? somewhat. Nudity? Would it be a NOES or Ft13th without it? What did I like best? The soundtrack! That and seeing Jason whoop Freddy's ass from here to Crystal Lake and back again! Ronny Yu did a good job but perhaps he should have stayed away from the martial arts for Freddy and Jason.

Just watch. You'll get to see and make your own opinion.