I hate you Thir13en Ghosts

Oh how I hate this film with more of a passion than I do Curse of the Screaming Dead! Let me just start by saying, if you advertise it having some model chick, and you pump her up to be this major star of the film, then she she should have a bit more than about 15 minutes on screen time! Let me just move on and point out a lot of the flaws this had that drove me so crazy that it worked its way into the history books as the ONLY film I ever asked for my money back on.

Let's start at the beginning. They have a maid/nanny? I'm sorry but he did say that they didn't have any money right? I do the believe his exact words were "I'm passing up one bill to pay another". right? So why the hell do they have a live-in nanny who doesn't even do her job? The kids do the dishes and the nanny lady obviously never cleaned because the father tripped over a damn toy. FIRE THE BITCH!! That simple. Maybe if you weren't carrying her sassy black street wise ass you would have the money to pay the other bills that need to be paid! This woman also has other issues with me that I will get into later.

Now, we also find out that Uncle Cyrus collects ghosts. Where does he store them? In the house already? That's a possibility I suppose, but we would have liked it to be made known. And his glasses, How exactly do they work? You got out of explaining that cheaply by saying something about bending light and quickly moving on to the next topic.

Not to hop all over the place but this film had so many characters that were either useless, served no purpose, or were damn confusing as to who they were helping. Cyrus' fellow ghost woman. Was she a good guy or a bad guy? How the hell did she get into the house? I don't buy her explaination for one second. Or what about the Princess ghost? Although hot, was she a good guy or a bad guy? Sure, blind us to thinking by making her naked through the whole movie. Why was she so deformed? A little story on the ghosts and perhaps why they were ghosts would have been great IN THE DAMN FILM. Not just as extras thrown into the DVD months later.
Here are a few other questions that needed answering.

Let's just move on to my other problems with Nanny. What was the point of her character? She was the token of the movie and unjustly so. They give her character a title and a supposed purpose but she never lives up to it. And how the hell did she survive? I mean she was in the basement when she destroed the "machine". Here are a few key points as to why she should have been killed.

I hate this film with all my might. I just wish something awful would happen to the people who made it. They should have just ended it with House on Haunted Hill, but no. Now I am left hoping for them to be sucked into some kind of alternate dimension, sparing us the crapfests that may come from them later.